The 'Tane Diaries - two months in

Took my last 40mg Claravis (claravis is the generic form of Accutane) pill tonight. Tomorrow I start on 60mg. Go liver go!

(Eyes are feeling much better, lips are peeling... hitting the Burt's Bees pretty hard.)

I don't remember the last time my skin looked this good.

Mom I know you are reading this.

If someone will buy me this shirt my life will be complete.

http://www.threadless.com/product/798/One_of_These_Days_We_ll_Fly_Away

I took a walk in the rain.

I found the city.

Or maybe the city found me.

Please let the agony my eyes are in right now be due to forgetting to switch to a fresh pair of contact lenses, not because the 'tane is wiping out my eyes. It is doing wonders for my face and I cannot go back to the way things are before, not when I know there's a way out. I don't mind wearing glasses for the next five months but please do not make this mean I have to stop treatment. I cannot do that. I just can't. The end.

Some things don't improve with age.

Glad to know NYU is still the same like 20 years after you graduated. A conversation from earlier:

Him: So what dorm are you in?

Me: W--------.

Him: Cell block W!

Me: Yeah. Yeah.

Him: I had friends there, so I know it well. I was in B------.

Me: The rooms there are huge.

Him: Yeah, but they like to put like five people in them.

Me: They still do.

True story.

For posterity: goddamn Antigone

My friend Lydia and I have the best conversations ever. I'm blue courier, she's black Arial

So, like, Antigone, man.

Every semester I think I'm done with it

totes, dude

and then another teacher assigns it

awww, man, is that chick back

and I am like, what the hell, man.

): i'm sorry

Goddamn Antigone, man

that bitch

she's stalking me or something.

I totes get you man, she is totes a bitch.

yeah, she's kinda a crazy

i think you should let her down gently

Yeah.

she will love again, after all

But none of that I just wanna be friends shit.

not doing that.

I love giving irreverent answers in lecture.

Teacher: What is the chorus suggesting in this passage?

Me: Let's get drunk and party.

Teacher: in as many words, yes.

i enjoy john wilkes

that devil

totes scandalous

Right now,

me and Georg Buchner are like *this*, man

but I would rather write a paper on Angels in America

dude, while I was reading that I didn't want it to end.

but that is not the assignment

man, i know what you mean

(why are we talking like stoned hippies.)

i would write another paper on john wilkes in a heartbeat but instead i have to write one on mary mags

(i do not even know)

(Whatever the reason let's keep doing it.)

(this may or may not be how i usually talk)

(k dude)

(this may or may not end up on my blog.)

rofl, that is fine either way

but man

mary mags is pretty dumb

Wait, John Wilkes?

Like John Wilkes Booth?

nope!

the dude who shot the president?

like that british one

ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE

TO ASSASINATE LINCOLN.

the british john wilkes who was crosseyed and seduced ladies and was all 'hmmm the irish are trying to kill me'

'as are the scottish'

A paranoid cassanova, eh?

'is it because i keep slandering them'

'nahhhh'

oh, no

he was this real ugly dude who slandered the scottish and avoided like tons of assasination attempts all while charming everyone else into submission

he was elected to parliament while in prison

like twice in a row

:V

:V

But.

I mean

Are you a bad enough dude to assassinate lincoln?

well

I know a dude

yeah

totes

who claims he's related

but only if he like

to john wilkes booth

slandered my family name or idk

that is pretty bamf

but he runs a dinner theater, so it might be just for publicity

I mean

he runs

a dinner theater.

a dinner theater.

yeah

that is

somewhat suspect

i bet he doesn't get much business from presidents then

I would watch my back

i would too but i have to do this lab writeup

SIIIIIGH

otherwise i would be watching that shit like an owl

assuming that i somehow was able to turn my head that far

hahaha

Siiiiiiigh, I have a paper

on Antigone

that bitch.

biiiitch

you know we should like

tp her house or something later

Dump pigs blood on her at prom

she deserves it.

damn

i hear that doesn't go over well in the end though

True.

Bad juju, man

but dude, i bet she watches you while you sleep. you gotta do somethin about it, man, i mean

Its creepy

what is she's a vampire all of a sudden you'd be in like

she's like edward cullen

but dead

some crappy romance book

and greek

idk

idk

that's the worst edward cullen of all

):

Goddamn Antigone

it's all your fault.

10 PM attack of the munchies

Floormate: CUPCAKES!

Me: THERE'S FIVE MINUTES LEFT OF GLEE!

Floormate: FUCK GLEE, CUPCAKES!

Me: OKAY!

So I did and it was delicious. This is why I'm fat.

What I would like to eat right now.

I could go for a can of these right now.

They are seriously one of the best things ever. My mom buys cans by the dozen or so. They are delicious.

Life Imitates Art

My god... Sarah Palin is Delores Umbridge!

I've been reading Harry Potter fanfic this afternoon (A guilty pleasure. Bad Leez!), and I noticed that most authors, whether deliberately or not, seem to write Umbridge as a caricature of Sarah Palin. An alarmist radical, generally viewed by other characters to be an especially dangerous joke. Sometimes she gets her just desserts and it's especially satisfying. But do they invoke the Palin parallel deliberately, or was she written like that to begin with?

After some thought, I have concluded that Dolores Umbridge was Palin, before Palin:

Let's compare.

A sensationalist, clueless politician who doesn't actually care about or even understand the issues, just wants to do what puts her in a position of power so she can push her totally misguided agenda...

Umbridge? Check! Palin? Check!

sickeningly sweet, wholesome, matronly image?

Umbridge? Check! Palin? Check!

Really, really likes to accuse people of lying, against common sense and probably against the better interests of most involved parties?

Umbridge? Check! Palin? Check!

Alarmingly xenophobic? Umbridge had her things with werewolves and centaurs, Palin left U. Hawaii after a year because there were "too many asians." Not to mention it's pretty much assumed she doesn't really like anyone who isn't a heterosexual WASP. Rowling has basically admitted that werewolves are the Potterverse equivalent of HIV+ people, and are you sure our president isn't an Islamic terrorist, Ms. Palin?

Umbridge? Check. Palin? Check.

JK Rowling is like, a psychic or something.

Crist nixes six!

Go him!

Though the real question here is "What kind of idiots to we have in Tallahassee who would propose this kind of lunacy in the first place?!"

Nix Six

South Florida Teachers Call in Sick to Protest Bill Six.

Go them! Really, as if the Florida education system couldn't get any worse. The FCAT assumes a one-size fits-all style of learning that doesn't work for every student. Furthermore, the majority of the kids who fail the exams are living at or below the poverty line without a support system outside of school. Teachers, the american public seems to forget, are not substitutes for mom and dad - once their students go home, they have no control over what happens to them.

My aunt works at an inner-city elementary school. More than half the students who come into her class are not reading at level at the start of the school year - this isn't her fault. But the expectation that she will undo eight years of neglect and get these kids up to speed in the course of eight months is unrealistic - A class of fifteen to twenty, at least eight of whom are basically guaranteed not to pass the FCAT, combined with kids with learning disabilities and behavioral problems...

In the words of my 11th grade math teacher, "Some days I want to go flat out crazy so they'll give me a cushy job at the book depository." The problems with the FL education system don't start with the teachers. They start with a bunch of bureaucrats being paid too much to push paper around Mr. H. reckoned that if you cut out all the people whose jobs are basically to do nothing, you'd save millions of dollars a year.

Despite the fact that desegregation was carried out with a vengeance in the 60s, Florida schools are still largely, unofficially segregated. When you have a high school that is 90% anything, whether that 90% is a bunch of rich white kids or made up of the urban poor, what you have is not an "integrated" population, because the lines of race and economics are enforced by the zoning.

Anyone can teach in a classroom full of well-behaved WASPs. But driving, day after day, into the sketchiest part of town, to teach a rowdy bunch of fourth graders how to read is a calling. Grade-based pay will only serve to discourage teachers from taking jobs at poor, urban schools where, despite their credentials, they will be subjected to wages even more lousy than what they already earn. The fact is that Freedom Writers and Dangerous Minds are more fiction than fact. It is unrealistic to expect teachers to be able to "fix" kids in a single year who the system has failed since pre-kindergarden, but grade-based pay will serve only to discourage them from even trying.

Weird European stuff.

The original:

New and improved for the 21st century. (Just add Christoph Waltz.)

Which would win in an ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny?

It's 9 PM.

I have not done my homework. I'm partially submerged in a river in Egypt, I'm waiting for someone to give me the "We're not friends anymore" talk to my face instead of just saying bitchy things behind my back, and I feel like the world is falling apart but everyone forgot to invite me to the party.

Passive-aggressive much?

More passive-agressivity

(Note: "Dear you" posts are not all directed at the same person.)

Dear you,

Thank you for proving to all of us once and for all that you are a two-faced bitch.

No love,

Me.

A false sense of profundity

Growing up is not waking up one day and understanding you are now an adult. It is the gradual realization that it is more and more inappropriate to call yourself a child, until one day you cannot bring yourself to say those words at all.