Thoughts before sleep.

1. Why didn't I do accutane sooner? Like beginning of senior year sooner? Like as soon as the dermatologist even mentioned it was an option sooner? When your brother notices your skin is better without being prompted, you know there's been a dramatic improvement. And I would have spent less time picking at my face and giving myself scars. So there.

2. Since I've been home and going spinning with my mother, I've lost eight pounds. In basically two weeks (Since we are not counting Blank as "being home" since I did not go to the gym.)

2a. What am I going to look like at the end of the summer if this keeps up?

2b. Why didn't I do this sooner?

In short:

Why did I not give a damn about my physical appearance until I was eighteen years old?

In the past, I have looked at my childhood eating habits and wondered, "Why didn't anyone stop me?" In the last few weeks I have changed my mind. Now I wonder, "Why didn't I do anything about this sooner?"

And then I think that this is a sign of maturity, of taking responsibility, and then I feel empowered.

Also after this week I am not drinking tropical smoothie for a month because I have seriously been there every other day for my wisdom toothless brother, if I go there any more often the cashiers will know me by name.