EVERYTHING ON VENUS IS TRYING TO KILL YOU.

THAT'S NO MOON.
This is Mimas, and by all accounts, it shouldn't exist. For one thing, that crater on its surface is proportionally bigger than Canada. (Which is to say, it isn't actually bigger than Canada, because Mimas itself is probably smaller than Canada, but if you took the ratio of its surface that is covered by the crater and applied it to Earth... you get the idea.) An impact capable of making an impact that big should have just ripped the thing apart, but instead it made the moon look like the Death Star.

Also, while Mimas is outside the Roche limit, Saturn has moons /inside/ its Roche limit. Theoretically anything orbiting inside the Roche limit gets ripped apart, and thats why rings form. But Saturn has "shepherding moons" - moons that orbit inside the rings. What the hell, man?

I also find it weird that Pluto is now classified as a "Plutoid" and a "Plutino," which is like saying something is "shaped like itself." First rule of descriptions is to not use the word in the description, you know? But, then, Pluto has moons and things that aren't really moons, because Pluto and Charon and Hydra and Nix all orbit around a common barycenter and not around each other. They're just called moons of Pluto because the IAU hasn't got a definition for binary/triploid/quadruple dwarf planets or what have you. So in short they don't really have any idea /what/ this thing is, just that they have some weirdass felony bigamy going on in the outer solar system.

BUT BACK TO THE TITLE. You know Venus? Average temperature is a balmy 800 degrees Fahrenheit. Surface pressure is about a hundred times Earth's, the atmosphere is 100 times denser, and it's made of 99% CO2 with periodic bursts of hydrochloric acid and volcanic ash. Sounds like a real nice place to visit, right?

We've only got one real picture of the surface of the place, as opposed to radiographic imagery, because within a few minutes of landing the probe was burnt/crushed/melted. Because the surface temperature is so high, the crust is always a few steps away from molten, and you know plate tectonics? Forget everything you ever knew about plate tectonics because Venus is too hot for that shit, son. You need water for plate tectonics and Venus never had water, ever. No, Venus has Plume Tectonics which basically means volcanos can erupt wherever they damn well please. The whole surface of the planet is made of volcanic rocks like basalt and pumice.

There are theories that Venus used to have moons but that it fucking /ate/ them.

Well, shit, son. Everything on Venus is trying to kill you dead.