I haven't actually seen the fantasy train wreck known as "Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland" yet, but my faithful informer on all things pop culture, Audra, tells me it is more "Alice in Narnia," a mish-mash of fantasy tropes from all across the pop culture-sphere.
I asked, "So it's like Alice in Wonderland as written by Christopher Paolini?"
"No," she replied, "That's an insult to Eragon."
(Eragon, for the uninitiated, is what would happen if Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings had a lovechild, took one look at it and decided it was too horrible to behold, and left it on the doorstep of Dragon Riders of Pern, who promptly appointed Harry Potter as its godfather and Dune as its crazy gay uncle. Dr. Who seems to drift in and out, too - maybe it's Dune's boyfriend.)
(This metaphor gets more complicated every time I tell it.)
But back to Tim Burton. Tim Burton used to be this kooky director who made movies that incidentally had cult followings. His early stuff - Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands - have a definite quirky sensibility and an understanding that he's doing this for the art. And the cult following came later - most of the mall goths who run around in sweaters with Jack Skelington's face on them were in vitro when that movie was made.
(In the name of full disclosure, my favorite Tim Burton movie is Big Fish.)
But more and more often, it seems like Burton is making movies that, instead of developing a cult following after their release, are made specifically to pander to his cult following. Starting with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory back in 2005, good ol' Timmy B has sold out. The merchandise for his movies has been showing up in Hot Topic a full SIX MONTHS before the release of the movie - I've been seeing girls walking around in Cheshire Hat hoodies for his Alice since this summer. And of course there's the matter of choosing movies that already HAVE fan followings and readapting them.
1. Chose a classic film (or musical) that people have fond memories of.
2. Add Johnny Depp
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
Sweeny Todd? Stephen Sondheim has his own sizeable cult following, although musical theater kids are usually significantly happier and gayer than mall goths - what better thing to do than combine the fandoms? I agree that the movie was a good adaptation and Burton did a good job of not undermining Sondheim's original intentions, but really? Did we have to go there? And Alice in Wonderland has been a Mall Goth Favorite since 1995 - Really, Timmy? Really? Now you're just pandering to the least common denominator. What happened to your quirky directorial sensibility? Because lately you've been getting horrible reviews. The general consensus I've gleaned is that your Alice is bland and incoherent.
I'm sad. I miss the days when you worked in magical realism and quirky stories with a lot of heart. Bring back movies like Edward Scissorhands and Big Fish.
And for god's sake, we know you're married to Helena B-C and gay for Johnny Depp, but would it kill you to make a movie without them?
-Leez.
I'm still kinda curious to see it, but then again I also saw Wolfman.
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