Winter blahs

Today while waiting to be swiped in at the gym, I encountered an older man who my family knows from our synagogue. He commented to me that I looked like I'd gained a few inches, and I was taken aback - first of all because I haven't, and second of all, because who is he to make that kind of comment to me?!

"In height?" I asked uncertainly, trying to save the situation.

"Yeah, yeah, in height," he replied.

I've been the same height since eighth grade.

Also, I need someone to come over here with a shovel and dig my dignity out of this pit it's in. It started with reading Sherlock Holmes fanfic, which progressed to BBC Sherlock fanfic, which ultimately turned into 'Why the hell am I reading Sherlock/Harry Potter Crossovers and enjoying them."

Well, it's this or watch another ten episodes of Community. I can't help myself. It's hilarious.

What will she have in her pockets?

A list of things that I would hypothetically want for Hannukah but will probably not receive, in no particular order, and aimed at relatives who may be considering asking. :

• A Decemberists Hoodie. Unisex large (they say they run small.)
• A notebook with lined paper, full size, not spiral bound, possibly with some kind of art print on the cover, maybe Monet or Van Gogh or Mucha? I used to do all of my writing in books like these and I've been craving one all semester.
• iTunes money.
• A new pair of red flats, or else permission to buy a new pair of red flats.
• Slippers! Something like these that are both cozy and warm and that it would not be a tragedy to get stuck outside in during a fire alarm (because those happen. Because I live in a dorm.)
• A new cover for my laptop keyboard. These things are wonderfully cheap and I have what is considered a 13-inch aluminum macbook pro even though it actually technically isn't one.
• A belt. Just a simple leather one of average width and a not-flashy buckle will do. I hate belts but my pants don't stay up. 
• Books and other things to read. I like post-apocalyptic novels. I like regular novels. I am stupidly fond of magical realism. I would love it if someone would find me a cosmonaut biography I haven't read (astronauts are okay too). 
• I would love if people would return my cosmonaut biographies that I have leant to them to me. I need my copy of Two Sides of the Moon back. I think Ilan has it? Wrap it up and put a bow on top and we'll call ourselves even. :P

I don't think I'm asking for too much, and this may save some people the trouble of asking. Or not. 

45 minutes before my play is due, and I am zen.

I recognize that there are things wrong with this draft. There are things wrong with this draft that I cannot fix in the time I have remaining and I am just going to let them be. With that in mind, I recognize that I have basically written eighty pages with limited grabbing from my previous draft in about four days, and that is no small feat.

I recognize that there is language in this play that is "inelegant." There are monologues that I felt like I needed a shower after writing. Someone gets called a "cum-dumpster," which I think is a terrible phrase and one I would never,  ever use; but I recognize that it is in character. I recognized that my biggest weakness as a writer last week was my reluctance to "go there" and let sex and violence be explicit. I recognize that this play represents an attempt to overcome this weakness. It might not be there yet, but I forced myself to write the monologues and I forced myself to leave them and if nothing else I learned how to push my boundaries this semester.

I recognize that this is not a final draft. I will revise this play. But I have made improvements in the rewrite that justify that I only slept four hours last night.

And I am zen.

Unexpected themes

1. The desire for children to be taken seriously by their elders. Done twice: Lou to Carson, wanting him to stop using childish nicknames for her, and Carson to the Commander, wanting to not be called by his sidekick name.

• At the same time, rejection of the idea of a "responsible adult." Being an adult doesn't free you from the insecurities you faced growing up. Issues of upbringing impact adult personas.

2, Everyone is a little bit incompetent.

• Some people are more incompetent than others, or in different ways, but everyone has a weakness and it comes from within. No kryptonite in this universe.

I will edit in more as I realize them. It's never good to force a theme onto a play.

Fresh drafts and alternate character interpretations

One of my aunts has a fridge magnet that claims she is "Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult." Carson is that relative (not literally based on my aunt) pumped up to eleven. His responsible adult costume is paper thin. Marcus treats him more like a younger sibling than an estranged friend, which is much closer to what I originally envisioned their dynamic. Honorary "Uncle Carson" just creates a much more comfortable and friendly relationship with Lou, as well, and the degree of transparency that all of these characters have with each other is really freeing.

There's no longer layers of secrets - there's only one, and it's the most important secret. 

But back to Carson. He's the free-wheeling uncle who blows into town when the wind pushes him that way. He's thirty-six, but retains a boyishness and refusal to grow up and face responsibility that likens him to Peter Pan. He owns neither a dependent animal nor a coffee table. He has never been married - in fact, any attempts at all to probe into his romantic life prove utterly fruitless: it is either so non-existent or so convoluted that it will never come to light. 

(When Lou is twenty-four she will run into Carson at some family function and suddenly understand ever aspect of his psychology in a single epiphanic flash.)

Carson is erratic, a little bit manic depressive, a lot of an optimist. He anticipates every plan ending in success, puts justice first... and still, after all of his hospitalizations and rehabilitations and the abuse he's been put through, believes that people are fundamentally good. Carson remains a Hero not only because it's the only thing he knows how to do but because he believes in the work.

I like the airiness and the energy this new draft is giving me. I was told to let the play breathe - and I hope I'm doing that.

I would like to know what alternate universe Rick Perry comes from where Christians are a persecuted minority.

So there's this asinine campaign ad:

And this brilliant parody that manages to point out a lot of reasons why Governor Perry is a xenophobic jackass while making me exceptionally proud of my co-religionist.

I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a Jew -- Heck, I'm even a Rabbi... but you don't need to be in shul on every Shabbos to know there's something wrong in our country when gays can serve openly in the military and yet they still can't get married legally in most U.S. States.
Our Jewish kids in public school have to watch as their peers celebrate Christmas -- a holiday they don't observe. They have to sit quietly as the Christian students pray in school. That just seems uncomfortable.

As President, I will fight to end this crazy talk that there's a war on religion. And I will fight anyone who discriminates against others simply because of their sexual orientation.Intelligence made America strong. It can make her strong again.

I'm Rabbi Jason Miller and I think it's too cold to film a video outside in Michigan in the winter. Who approved this?

YES. THANK YOU, RABBI MILLER.


I have been head-desking since Perry’s ad went up both about his blatant homophobia and also his subtle-as-a-ton-of-bricks implication that Christianity is the only valid religion in the United States. Which it isn’t. There is no war on Christmas, Christians are still the religious majority, and that is likely not going to change. However, this perceived sense of “persecution” that the far right feels is dangerous to every religion that actually is discriminated against. 

The United States of America were founded on the principle that every religion is free and equal under the law. However, by creating an imaginary war on Christian values, the Far Right stands to sway a tremendous number of xenophobic voters to push legislation that seriously impedes on the rights of practitioners of every other religion in this country, including those that practice no religion at all. 

There is no “war on Christianity.” There is not a “War against Christmas.” The Democratic party does not have a kill list with Jesus and Santa Claus right at the top.

All this imaginary war does is perpetuate the real war on religion that is going on in this country - the discrimination and sometimes outright hatred that Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, Athiests, and all other groups perceived by the far right as being a “threat” face. 

Christian Values are not American Values. 

“One Nation, Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all” is. 

Stop the hate. 

Also? Same jacket.

The end is nigh

No, seriously, it is.

TWO WEEKS UNTIL WINTER BREAK! TWO WEEKS UNTIL WINTER BREAK! Except between now and then I need to revise a full length play, outline the revision for another, write a book report, turn in a term paper (already written, thank the lord) and do a final project for FSA.

I'm expanding Like a Dog in Space back out to a full, two-act length play as part of an Emerging Jewish Artist Fellowship I got through Bronfman center. This involves getting to explore a lot of themes in ways I didn't get to explore in the first draft. This also involves deciding once and for all who the fuck these characters are, besides just ambiguously supernatural.

In fact, fuck ambiguously supernatural.

You heard it here first, Mister Papers is god. Because I am perfectly allowed to do that because, you know what, this is my play and it's a fairy-tale and in fairy tales god is allowed to be a bird or an old man or a woman or a soviet bureaucrat in a cheap suit. Also because it opens so many awesome doors.

Also sometimes I wish my name was, like, Sarah or Cathy or Cecelia or Annie or Virginia because no one ever writes songs about girls named Aliza.

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, BACK TO WRITING.